Living in the Washington D.C. Metro area can come with a variety of burdens on daily life. In addition to the worst traffic in the country, an immeasurably rude and egotistical populace, incalculably high taxes and the most intrusive state and local governments to be found anywhere, we also have some of THE WORST drivers in the U.S. One of the most noticeable things you’ll notice when driving in the D.C. area is that virtually no drivers use their turn signals. This can usually be attributed to the “me first”, arrogant attitude prevalent in the area. In fact, using your turn signal virtually guarantees that other drivers will speed up and do all they can to prevent you from changing lanes!

Based on lengthy observation and careful scientific assessment, presented below is my Top Ten Worst Drivers of D.C. List. It is important to note that some categories overlap a bit, but each numbered category has enough of that unique type of driver as to warrant their own recognition.

  1. Old People
  2. Soccer Moms
  3. Off-the-boat African Immigrants
  4. Asians
  5. Any woman driving a large SUV or Van while wearing Ray Bay Aviators
  6. Taxi Drivers (supposedly licensed and professional)
  7. Old Men wearing hats
  8. Anyone driving a Prius or Subaru
  9. Anyone driving a car with D.C. tags
  10. Black Women

A driver falling into more than one category automatically achieves the status of Bifecta, Trifecta or Mega-Superfecta bad driver.

The Unstoppable Driver of Doom for example would be an Asian Soccer Mom driving an Escalade while wearing Ray Ban Aviators. Or an Old Man in a Hat driving a Prius with D.C. Tags.